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 Life
sans St. Patrick
- Without the Big Man we'd probably be stuck with St Eusebius or St
Vitus for a patron saint.
- No St Pat would mean no shamrock and it's such a dinky national
symbol. It would also mean farewell to the lucrative shamrock trade
and those fine footballers in the Shamrock Rovers. Perish the thought.
- Without St Patrick there'd be no need for people to toil their way
up Croagh Patrick ripping their feet to shreds on the rocks. And then
what would we do for fun?
- Imagine trying to think up names for hundreds of churches,
cathedrals, national schools and streets. St Gubnait Cathedral? St
Cyril hospital? They just don't have the same ring.
- If St Patrick hadn't come up with the handy shamrock model to
explain the holy Trinity we'd probably still be confused. Imagine the
hoards of first communion candidates tossing and turning in their
bunkbeds trying to work out this three-in-one thing - probably
shampoo/conditioner combos would be used as an example instead.
- An Post would probably go bust without the annual cash injection
from St Patrick's day cards sent to Auntie Noreen in Tonga, Buddie in
Djibouti and all those other far-flung relatives.
- And then of course there's the snakes. Admittedly serpents are
handy when manufacturing clutch handbags but not so good when
frolicking in the fields or doing a spot of orienteering.
- If St Patrick hadn't decided to bring Christianity to Ireland who
knows whether anybody else would have bothered? We could be like those
indigenous folk deep in the rainforest, worshipping a washed-up bottle
of Coca-Cola.
- No St Patrick, no St Patrick's Day parade and lord knows we need a
bit of "divarsion" between Christmas and Easter.
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Furthermore, no St Patrick means all those crazy yanks and other
far-flung paddies would have no reason to drink green beer, wear
shamrock-shaped spectacles or walk up to anyone who's passing and
demand: "Kiss Me I'm Irish".
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